Being the boss means that the men on your team will most likely be asking you for something or other. Men are more likely to negotiate than women to get what they want, so there will be a lot of opportunities for you to use your negotiating skills. Many men do not want to “lose” to a woman, which makes negotiating with men even more difficult.
Here are 3 Ways to Knock Out Negotiating With Men:
1. Never be scared to negotiate
Many women are afraid of negotiating and avoid it at all costs. But men respect women more if they negotiate with them instead of just stepping back and giving them what they want without a fight. Don’t be a pushover!
According to Sara Laschever, co-author of Women Don’t Ask, “The best tactic for women who feel nervous or uncomfortable about negotiating is to practice. Practice moving away from what you are worried about and into joint problem solving. Joint problem solving is when both parties are truly happy with the end result of the negotiation. That is really the best type of negotiation. If you practice, not only do you plan and rehearse things to move to the direction that you want it to go, but if in fact some of those things that you are afraid of happening in the negotiation do end up happening, then you won’t be surprised.”
2. Understand gender negotiating differences
Women are more relational and collaborative in negotiations. Women will use small talk at the beginning of a negotiation to develop a relationship before they get down to business. Men, on the other hand, will get right down to business. Men want you to get to the point as quickly as possible and the small talk really doesn’t accomplish that. Men can also be more competitive than women so they may be more focused on winning than a woman is.
According to Lee E. Miller and Jessie Miller in their book, A Woman’s Guide to Successful Negotiating,”Negotiating turn-ons for men are getting right down to business, letting him go first, finding out what he is interested in and showing that you can get the deal done. Negotiating turn-offs for men are whining, crying, engaging in too much small talk, challenging him head on or threatening him.”
3. Know all the factors involved
Think about his behavior and communication style from previous meetings and negotiations. Try to brainstorm his negotiation style and what he will want beforehand. Don’t worry about trying to please everyone. Be thorough, but also remember to be decisive and don’t circle around the most important topic. Do your homework and preparation before you start negotiating.
4. Establish credibility first
At the beginning of the conversation, show that you have knowledge in the subject area. For example, if it is a salary negotiation, tell your male employee that you are aware of his achievements over the last year and list them.
5. Reach an agreement as quickly as possible.
Try to reach an agreement as quickly as possible with a male employee.Make men feel comfortable. Gail Evans, author of Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman, says: “Give them the first question or request, which is usually a minor point. This allows him to relax and think it will be easy so he might drop his guard. He then feels he has to give you something in return. It is better to fight him on the fifth point rather than the first.
In some cases, you may not be able to come to a mutual agreement that all are happy with. Some men just won’t budge and you won’t be able to convince them of your argument. Try to turn it into a win for both of you, if possible, in another way. Suggest something else that he might be happy with. Try to make a favorable agreement for all involved.
