Every marriage comes to a point when things seem to be going downhill.  As long as the couple still wants to make their marriage work and they are both willing to take the necessary steps to solve their problems, there will always be hope to save their marriage. Dr. Susan Heitler, Clinical Psychologist and Author of the book, The Power of Two, shares this advice to couples who need help improving their marriage.

8 Strong Steps That Could Save Your Marriage

1. Pinpoint the Problems

The first step in finding the solution to any problem is to pinpoint the causes that lead to them.  Dr. Heitler suggests that couples should make a list of the things that they usually argue about and the situations that lead to these arguments.  By doing so, couples can clearly see the reasons why they fight so much and they can also identify solutions to avoid problems in the future.

2. Make a Personal Change

Couples should also understand that they should stop pointing fingers and putting the blame on each other. Both parties should understand that they have no power to change anyone.  The only person that you can change is yourself.  Couples who are going through marital issues should commit to trying to make a positive change in themselves for the sake of saving their marriage.

3. Choose Your Words Wisely

Communication is the key to making a relationship work. It all boils down to how two people talk to each other. Do you get to solve anything by talking it out or does every conversation end up in an argument? Couples should practice learning how to be patient with each other and practice thinking before speaking.

Choose your words wisely and hold your tongue from saying anything hurtful or destructive to each other. If saying something will do more harm than good, then there is no point in saying it. Get straight to the point and cut out all the unnecessary comments that can just complicate the situation.

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4. Be Constructive

No matter how mad or frustrated you may be, never speak out of anger. There is always a better way. Instead of carelessly criticizing the actions of your spouse, find a way to be more constructive with your comments. You do not want to be the enemy who only sees your significant other’s flaws. Instead, begin to see each other and speak to each other as if you are helping your significant other become a better person.

5. Support Each Other

Husbands and wives should be each other’s support system. Keeping a long and lasting marriage requires a team effort, and this is done by making decisions together. By cooperating with each other in making great decisions, you make your union stronger.

6. Three A’s to Avoid

Aside from preventive measures and learning the proper way of communicating with each other, couples should also avoid the three destructive “A’s”. These are Anger, Affairs and Addictions. Being angry with each other all the time will just push you farther apart. Any form of addiction will cause financial, psychological and emotional strains in your relationship.

7. Be Extra Loving To One Another

In the process of working out your problems as a couple, let each other know that you value your marriage by being extra loving to one another. Express your feelings for each other more openly. Kiss, hug and make love as often as you want to. Take the time to be with each other and find activities that will bring you closer to one another.

8. Learn How To Strengthen Your Marriage

There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. But you can always learn new things about how to maintain and strengthen your relationship. There are a lot of helpful books, articles, videos and websites that have very useful tips for couples build a strong bond with each other. Marriage therapy can also be helpful, in times when couples feel they cannot solve their problems on their own.