“It is not love that should be depicted as blind, but self-love” – Voltaire

When it comes to career satisfaction, our life outside of the workplace can certainly affect our professional life. When a classy career girl’s personal life is on the rocks, it’s natural if the emotions impact daily life at the office.

Believe me, I understand when it comes to a breakup. Life can be a roller-coaster following an end to any type of relationship. Sometimes it takes months, sometimes it takes years!

So how do you get over a breakup?

Self-compassion is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. In fact, you have the control to move the healing process along by not only practicing self-compassion, but also changing the way you think, being present, and having a hopeful outlook.

When I go through a rough patch, I found the following 5 tips to be very helpful in the healing process.

1. Treat yourself

Often times we forget we need to give to ourselves first for a while. This could be time to enjoy what you love doing or treating yourself to a modest splurge. Remind yourself you deserve to accept these gifts. This may require you need to give less, or to trust your intuition about impulses to say yes to everything. Perhaps you need to give in a different way or to different people.

2. Acceptance

Give yourself permission to accept that there are some things you’re not meant to know. During times of difficulties, we may not know the “why” xyz happened as the ambiguity can allow us the opportunity to learn a lesson or change something about ourselves for the better.

3. Take it easy

If you need to cry, cry it out. Let yourself feel your emotions. Let go of any labels you may attach to feeling vulnerable. Just feel what you are feeling with awareness. Be with the experience itself moment by moment.

4. Power of being present

Trust in your deepest strength of all…to be present. Once we shift our focus from the results to the process itself, all situations become opportunities. When we are present, we can welcome all things with an open mind.

5. Hope

As you work through any situation, having a hopeful outlook on smaller issues, like the weather on a rainy day, allows you to pay more attention to handling the issues that really matter. For me, I’m not a particular fan of the winters. But I’m hopeful that most winters on the East Coast last only four months and my favorite season comes right after.